Relationality, Resiliency & Life Updates

A meandering philosophical and personal joyride

Below is one of the deleted sections from the book I’m writing. Some of the chapters felt too good not to publish even though they didn’t make the cut and this was one of them. Enjoy this little snippet. It may be a little out of context, but I sincerely hope you still find value in it.

To lay a solid foundation for exploring the intricacies of our philosophical reality, let us first establish a few fundamental concepts and reorientations that may not be immediately apparent to the Western ontology.

To begin, our cultural conditioning shapes our perceptions of reality, often instilling the belief in a separation between mind, soul, and body (dualism). In other words, we are led to perceive subjectivity as distinct from objectivity. Additionally, our culture tends to prioritize the acknowledgment of only that which can be measured, studied, and evaluated in a quantifiable and objective manner, often through the lens of the scientific method (physical monism). These two overarching assumptions heavily influence Western culture, and it is our objective to critically examine and reconstruct them within the context of this book.

The first assumption is rooted in materialism, the belief that everything is comprised of physical matter. The second assumption emphasizes the primacy of objectivity as the ultimate reality (physical monism). By delving into these assumptions, we aim to deconstruct and reconfigure our understanding of reality, broadening our perspectives beyond these Western cultural paradigms.

Relationality As Fundamental

One of the key ways we will reconstruct this metaphysical foundation is by embracing the possibility that what underlies reality is not solely the subjective or the objective, but rather the relationship between them.

To grasp this concept more simply, let's consider the following: If only the objective were real, then who or what would be there to experience it? Conversely, if only the subjective were real, what would it be aware of? It becomes evident that the relationship between the subjective and the objective is indispensable. Hence, it is the nature of this relationship that is worth exploring.

Moreover, our exploration will not only delve into the components or the entirety of a system, but also focus on understanding the relationship between the parts and the whole. Another way to express this is that the relationship between two concepts exists independently from the concepts themselves, yet it remains inseparable from them. To truly comprehend a system, we must grasp the essence of the relationships that comprise it. This approach embraces a holistic worldview that surpasses the limitations of dualism and physical monism. Throughout this book, we will delve into the specific implications of this perspective.

By emphasizing the significance of the subjective-objective relationship and the understanding of systemic relationships, we will embark on a transformative journey that challenges traditional dualistic and monistic frameworks.

Life Update

I want to try something a little different for this newsletter, making it a bit more personal and candid. So here we go.

My life has been more intense than it ever has, but I also feel more resilient than I ever have. So many things are swirling. I’m moving into a new place, experiencing tension with some people, taking some big risks career-wise and choosing what feels like a some really scary choice, really putting myself out on a limb.

As you may or may not know, I’ve co-created and participated in this 100 day challenge called the Hero100 consisting of daily cold showers, meditation, journaling, and fasting amidst other things. Well, it’s been utterly life transforming, but not in the way I would have expected. The vision was that on day 100 I would feel empowered, sovereign, agentic and ready to conquer the world. And, it’s not quite like that, but it also is quite like that. I don’t feel ecstatic on a daily basis, but I do feel resilient. I’ve continued to show up for these practices and they’ve paid off tenfold. I didn’t expect cold showers/plunging to be such a game changer. The cold showers haven’t gotten easier, but now I have this insane resource to handle stress and build resiliency. Literally, whenever I feel stuck, depressed, or when life is throwing me a jab, jab, right hook I know that 3 minutes in the cold water is all it takes to get me back on my feet. On top of that I’ve been staying more active than I ever have. Something about the cold water just makes me want to do pullups and pushups out the wazoo.

Anyway, we’re on day 90 and I’m realizing how game-changing this challenge really is. If I went from victim-Ethan to resilient-Ethan in 90 days I know anyone can make the same transformation. This challenge has become my life dedication and, surprise, we’ll be running another 100 day challenge on the horizon!

The next one is going to be even more intense, even more transformative, and I can’t wait. So if you want to follow what I’m up to these days, keep an eye out on the Phoenix Culture Instagram which is where I’m sharing updates and posting about the philosophy behind this challenge.

You’ve got this. I trust in you. You already have all of the capacities within you. Trust that you have what it takes to show up for the difficult aspects of the process and to come out on the other side stronger and more resilient than ever.

I’ve been sitting with a few lessons from a podcast I listened to earlier and the gist is that you need to expose yourself to more experiences. Which can be interpreted in many ways. Yet it boils down to: expose yourself to new types of relationships, new places, new terrain in your career, and new spiritual experiences and that is how you mature and become wise.

What feels especially relevant is about the network/friends thing. Boulder, Colorado is quite the bubble. I’m feeling the pull to deepen connection with a wider variety of people, especially elders. Really getting curious about the life experiences of those older than I am. I’m not sure how I’ll do this but it feels like a good direction to move in. Knowing that people my own age probably have very similar worldviews than I have and therefore if I’m not making an effort to get out of this bubble then my view of the world is inevitably going to be incredibly limited and biased in ways that I can’t even imagine.

Anyway, enough ranting for today. Thank you for reading. I love you all. Peace.