Transformation is War & War is Hell

The necessity of going through the fire to grow

We need to put on more serious lenses to confront the difficulties of the developmental process in life. If we don’t sometimes view life with the lens of going to war, of being influenced by psychological warfare of all kinds then we won’t have what it takes to face the more serious aspects of reality.

There’s this very real sense that the difficulties of life and the self-deceptions of the mind require confrontation in a way that is deeply serious. If our core pattern in life is to people please and the entire force of our subconscious tells us that is how we receive love and how we get accepted by our peers is to never disagree with anything anyone says then just willy nilly doing some shadow work here and there isn’t going to accomplish anything. We must show up to these challenges in our life with such a a vigor and seriousness that it feels like we’re going to war. Because this is war. Life is war. The developmental process is war.

Waging War Against Ubiquitous Psychopathology

Counteracting the ubiquitous low-grade psychopathology that is endemic in every single aspect of cultural life requires that we go to war. To move towards depth and meaning we must wage war on the onslaught of forces tempting us into comfortable yet psycho-pathological habits called normal life that 99% of those around us are engaging in. I’m talking watching Netflix, social media addiction, drinking, constant socializing to avoid the fact that we don’t have a deep life purpose, being inactive and out of shape, chasing money and success for their own sake, feeling inadequate and not-enough, the list goes on. Living a meaningful life requires that we wage war on the dozens of micro-distractions that when combined together add up to a soulless, mind-numbing life. 

As Stephen Pressfield so aptly put it “The artist committing himself to his calling has volunteered for hell, whether he knows it or not. He has to know how to be miserable, because this is war and war is hell.” Every single day that we wake up we will experience fear in relation to many aspects of our life. You want to ask someone out? Fear. You want to write a book? Fear. You want to workout? Fear. You want to overcome your not-enoughess? Fear. 

Fear is Inevitable

Fear is inescapable. Therefore self-development requires that we go to war with this fear. We must go to war with this feeling of not-enoughess and lack at the core of our being. We must realize that intensity is required to face the sticky and difficult aspects of existence. There will be deep fear and anxiety that surface regularly. We must meet it with courage. We must stand up to it and meet its intensity with intensity. This ain’t for the faint of heart. The evolution of self requires nothing less than every ounce of struggle that we have. We must get to our breaking point then go 5 extra steps past it. 

Whatever fears we have, we must face them. Without facing our deepest fears, transformation won’t happen. Sometimes we need to voluntarily impose extreme levels of suffering in order to go through the fire of transformation. Without rigorous developmental protocols the chance that we get stuck in a mediocre life is close to 100%. As Tim Ferris puts it “Pure hell forces action, but anything less can be endured with enough clever rationalization.” Without hell we will be complacent.  

There’s an intensity and depth that comes only through sitting with hell each and every day. This intensity has been largely lost in modern culture and we must reclaim it. We must reclaim this total trust and surrender into the ultimate groundlessness of self and reality. We can’t face the fear of non-being and death without the utmost intensity and power.

Cultivating Intensity

We must bring intensity towards facing the terrors and fears that life throws our way. Bringing a heightened level of intensity to every moment of our lives will put us on track to become someone we couldn’t even imagine developing into given our current modus operandi. 

Life is infinitely meaningful and therefore it’s a disservice back down from reality and become small. The infinite meaningfulness of reality calls forth an intensity within us to meaningfully engage with it. In others words, our capacities will constantly be tested and intensity is required to meet those challenges. 

At the end of the day, it’s better to be in the arena and get stomped on by the bull then to be in the stands or out in the parking lot watching the battle but not engaging/participating in it. There’s also a key decision-making process here. The professional knows that he/she can only be a professional at 1, maybe 2 things so they’re comfortable outsourcing the rest. There’s no need in wasting time on things that aren’t most meaningful skill that needs to be developed. The professional sees themselves as a business. They make themselves into a corporation and how they show up in the world in a way of professionalism and seriousness. They share their creations to the world as if they were marketing a business. This can also be a helpful frame for not taking ourselves so seriously. For realizing that we don’t have to be so attached to our creations. Some times our creative projects (like product launches) will flop and not lead to anything. When we view ourselves as a business we won’t take things as personally. At the end of the day, it’s as simple as making up in gourmand that we’re pros and viewing ourselves as pros. 

Embracing Intrinsic Motivation In Spite of Feeling Lack of Financial Security

At the end of the day there’s a realization that the grind is never going to be over. We’re going to be constantly engaged with bullshit work because this is an inherent aspect of life. Rather than having the pipe dream that we’ll be living in paradise eventually and only then can we focus on what we love, we should craft out a minimum of one hour per day to do that which we most love to do in the world. Our finances will never be secure. Money shouldn’t be the only focus and goal in life. Money is a necessary part of life, yet if it stops us from moving towards that which lights us up most then that’s where we run into the trap.

Furthermore, we shouldn’t close ourselves off to life. Showing up fully and doing the work aren’t the opposite of living with an open heart. The balance I’m trying to walk these days is seeing if I can show up with intensity, determination and vigour while at the same time consistently opening myself up to the wound of pain and hurt that is inevitable in life.