Dying into Uncertainty & Mutual Learning

Don’t be convinced by the acts of others. No one knows what the hell they’re doing on this planet.

Don’t be convinced by the acts of others. No one knows what the hell they’re doing on this planet. What’s it like being dropped into this strange world. What is it like to figure life out? What is it like to not know what the hell is going on, but to act anyway? Do you want to lean into the mystery of existence? Are you ready to open yourself fully and unabashedly to the presence of nowness?

Our lives are expressions of our current relationship to life. How do you wanna relate to this thing we all call life?

"In a truly complex environment, we are always empowered (and indeed often required) to generate novel (creative) actions in response to perceived circumstances. In other words, our field of choice is unbounded and, therefore, symmetric to the unbounded field potential of the complex system in which we are living. We are thus challenged to and trained to improve our responsive capacity to complex circumstances." - Jordan hall

A Complex World Requires a Complex Response

I’m just as clueless about how to respond to complexity as you are. Or perhaps, both of us are entirely skilled at responding to complexity in our own beautiful yet partial ways. We have much to learn from each other.

There’s truth in your response to the world that you perceive — a world that I may not fully understand. To begin to open myself up to the ways in which you’ve learned to respond to life is to not need you to be any different than you are. Ideally, I won’t feel compelled to give you advice or to fix you, unless you come to me asking if I can point out blind spots that I see. If this request isn’t asked then I will simply appreciate you as you are, seeing that the way you exist is an expression of something much more complex than my limited mind can fathom.

“What sort of reaction and interaction can expand our capacity to respond in ways that create less trauma over time? The larger ecologies within which the transgressions of humiliation, exploitation, and vengeance are found require a response with far more capacity for complexity than surface - level forgiveness” - Nora Bateson

And given this frame, we can begin to view our careers as the unique ways in which we’re attempting to be a source for the creation of beauty rather than the unconscious force for the creation of more trauma and suffering.

Career as our Unique Expressions of Mutual Learning

If the goal of my life is to reduce the collective trauma of the world and to add to the beauty of existence then the specific actions that are most fit to accomplish this goal in an ever-shifting world will continue to shift as well. My ‘career’ may change dozens of times, but the underlying formless presence that is guiding the actions will remain unchanged.

As a youngling, if I deem partying as most important then any job that gives me enough money to enjoy myself on the weekend will do. However, if I view my life as something grander then I won’t settle for any odd job and my shifting career landscape will be an expression of my process of figuring out how to align what I do in my life with the innermost knowing. My life will become a product of the loving awareness that is figuring out how to best express itself in each moment.

In this lens, we can define a career as our current response to life. What we choose to do with our life reflects what we view as important. A truly inspiring career is one that is changing, morphing, and responding to the world in a generative way.

Given the opportunities of the digital age, career is becoming more impermanent. Whereas in the past it may have been logical to keep a job for multiple decades, now it’s completely out of the picture. We’re being presented with seemingly infinite opportunities in every moment by the world. We’re being called to shift our response to life more frequently. We’re realizing that changing careers can actually be the best choice we could ever make.

I like to think of career choices as emanating from this formlessness within. There’s this formless field that is always right, is always true, doesn’t have words, doesn’t have labels, and it’s an invaluable guide to decision-making. This formlessness is in flow with the pulse of life. When I don’t listen to this formless field of intelligence then I suffering arises. I feel myself pushing against the natural flow of life. Sometimes the inner source of decision-making is pointing me towards very difficult choices. Will I rise to the occasion and do the difficult yet integrous thing, or back off and distract myself from the obviousness of this internal signal?

I’m reminded of a passage I read in The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida where he says “Where do your fears stop you from making a larger contribution to mankind, from earning a higher income, or from earning money in a more creative and enjoyable way.” and he then goes on to elaborate on the importance of approaching life with deep integrity. To consistently check our life decisions with our own internal compass.

I find myself turning towards questions like:

• If I chose this would I have regret on my deathbed?

• Is my work emerging from the miracle of existence?

  • If not, where is the fear coming from?

On Our Shared Humanity

I want to see a renaissance where we ground back into the shared feeling of being human. I want to see where a world where we identify less with our echo chambers and more with the simple fact that we’re both human.

We’re both on this planet. We’re both trying to figure out what the hell is going on and what we’re doing here. Let’s ground in the shared struggle of being human.

It’s not going to be an easy road. Many of us have atrophied our basic interpersonal skillfulness due to COVID and the alluring pull of social platforms. Yet it’s not impossible to learn how to navigate these differences in ideas, perspectives, and attitudes.

Nora Bateson on Mutual Learning

1. Allow complexity

2. Pause the impulse to find cause

3. Increase mutual learning within the situation

4. Previously un-seeable possibilities appear

5. Repeat steps 1 - 5 indefinitely
   
   — Nora Bateson

I find myself wondering why it’s so difficult to allow the complexity to be as it is. Why does my mind want to prematurely form beliefs and constructions about what’s going on? Every day I feel the pull to reduce reality simple-minded frameworks in order to feel safe. What might it look like to surrender my impulse to find the causes?

I’m fascinated with Nora’s approach as one of increasing mutual learning. What does it look like to fully engage and surrender into the process of mutual learning? The degree of openness present seems to correlate with my ability to adequately flow with the ever-changing nature of the experiences of life.

Perhaps mutual learning is learning to cultivate awareness so that we learn why certain emotions arise in response to a trigger in our environment. And to bring spaciousness to every moment so that I’m open to being surprised by life in all of its stunning complexity.

Outro

Thanks for making it all the way here. 💙 I’m ecstatic to share this particular expression of my being with you. I’ve been finding the process of writing this newsletter and producing this podcast as one of the most meaningful endeavors I’ve done in a while. Life is just so fascinating and there are so many different angles to view it.

You’re doing great. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself. Realize that every experience is OKAY. No sensation is wrong. No emotion is wrong. I love you. 💜

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